In the last two posts, I have written about the causes of low self-esteem and how it manifests. It is only normal that the write-ups on self-esteem conclude with one about how to develop a healthy one. The following helps in developing a healthy self-esteem.
1. Acknowledge your Uniqueness: Billions of people have lived on planet earth and passed on. Billions are living today. Ever since the world was, there has been anybody exactly like you and there is none like you today. You are unique. You have to acknowledge and appreciate that.
The world will definitely go on without you but it is a better world when you bless the world by putting the gift you have to use and being of service to man. But you have to appreciate yourself first.
If you were to be offered N1,000,000 for your sight, I am 99.9 percent sure that you would rather retain your sight than lose it and getting paid such amount. How about if you were to be giving N2,000,000 for you to exchange your heart with another one not better than yours? Or even N3,000,000 for your legs. Since you will reject all the offers, it shows that the organs of your body and the systems they form are worth far more than N6,000,000. As a human being, you are priceless. If scientists were to produce a brain, it would cost billions of dollars and so much man hours yet the brain they would come up with will not possess the creative power of your brain.
I think you just may have been taking yourself too much for granted and it is time to reverse that. You are unique and you are awesome. Acknowledging and appreciating that sets you on a path for a healthy self-esteem.
2. Stop Comparing yourself to others: How can you expect to win in this game of unfair comparison of yourself to others? Emeka has more money than I do. Faith has 5,000 Twitter followers and I do not have up to 100. Olu has a very nice car and I do not have one. You crush your self-esteem by these unnecessary comparisons. The only person you should compare yourself with is you. Ask yourself, “Am I better than I was yesterday?” This keeps the focus on you while motivating you to grow and become a better person. Emeka has more money than you but he may have duped people. Faith has 5,000 Twitter followers who were probably paid for that. Olu has a very nice car purchased with a loan. Right now he is married to his job and tied to it otherwise his car…his image…gone.
There are so many variables concerning other people’s experiences that you are not aware of. Help yourself by stopping the comparison. It is useless – literally.
3. Start a project with a series of small steps: Due to fear of failure people are afraid of starting a new project. Your project need not be gigantic. It should be something that stretches you a little and gets you out of your comfort zone. It could be something like losing that weight or starting a business. The important thing is that the project should consist of series of small steps. You start with a step you can take and when you are successful at that, you can take another step and another step. Each step takes you higher. Every step you complete gives you a sense of accomplishment. Your success at the first step impacts your performance in the next step and this raises your self-esteem which in turn brings a sense of accomplishment, and this goes on in subsequent steps.
4. Make a List of your Past Successes: Whatever gave you confidence or satisfaction should be on this list even if it was in your childhood. It could be taking the first position in class, graduating from school, writing a book, or starting a business. This list will serve to build your confidence. It will also let you know that since you have achieved success before, you can achieve even a greater one tomorrow.
5. Consume Positive Materials: Listen to stimulating talks, read motivational books, digest content on inspirational blogs (yes, like this blog, Growing Through Life). By doing this you feed your subconscious mind with healthy information. Doing this regularly increases your chances of using the information. By using the information, you develop yourself and your self-esteem is positively impacted.
If you really consider the benefits you stand to gain having a healthy self-esteem, you have the motivation to do what has been outlined. You will love the result.