After the Loss


Our mortality is a reality. People die every day. We all acknowledge death but few prepare for it. Death is not something we wish ourselves or our loved ones but it does occur. They proceed to the altar, “Husband and wife till death do us part,” they agreed. Until the death occurs, those were just words.

I dedicate this post to anyone who has lost a loved one especially recently.

It is really a big blow to lose someone you love. Life and everything about it seems to stand still. In fact, it is worse; it seems like a horrific nightmare and you hope that someone will wake you. Without belittling the loss, I hope the following will help anyone in such a state overcome sorrow associated with the loss.

The first thing is to allow yourself to grieve. He or she was a loved one and a part of your life. That will never change. To grieve the loss of a loved one is normal so do not stifle it. I do not think there is a time limit on grief. The way you grieve and how you grieve is yours to decide. However, when there is a prolonged inability to carry out basic tasks, you may need professional help.

That you are grieving does not mean that you have to be isolated for a long period of time. That should be avoided. We all want to be alone at particular moments even when we are not dealing with loss. Whoever is suffering from the loss of a loved one should make effort to be in the company of others when necessary. Isolation can lead to loneliness. Loneliness when prolonged can lead to depression. You do not want to get to the point of being depressed.

In the short-term, depression is likely to cause loss of appetite, weight loss, and other physical symptoms. If you develop insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much), you will be fatigued and lethargic. In the long term, you can experience malnutrition from not eating enough or become obese from eating too much. You can also experience a drop in short-term memory, finding it easier to forget things. Long-term depression can also lead to suicide.1

A loved one may be gone but the memories are yours to keep and cherish. Have you thought of honouring such memory? Depending on your capacity, you can seek an organization or a cause that relates to the actions of your loved one in order to volunteer. He or she may be gone but is still deserving of honour.

Life is filled with ups and downs. When down however, one should not make a home there. Life goes on with or without your input but it definitely can be a better place with your input. Strive to move forward. The speed does not matter in this case. Whether flying, running, or walking, just move forward.

You still have a purpose in life and every day you move closer to the grave. Your sense of purpose should not be lost rather it should be intact to enable you live and not just exist every day. You have life. Make it count. It is not really the number of years we live that matter, it is the impact we make. There are men from whom we still draw inspiration from today but whose lives were cut short due to assassination.

Take advantage of the time you still have. Be there for your children and your friends. You experienced a loss but you are not lost.


  1., Depression Symptoms, Causes and Effects,, Accessed January 18, 2016.

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